12:37 a.m. - Tuesday, Oct. 26, 2004
Surviving
Here I am, writing an entry, in the middle of the night bizarrely squatted on my chair. For the first time in over a month I'm writing here. Time does pass quickly.

I'm ok. No more than that, definitely. I always hoped, and more than that, assumed, my illness would get better once I got away from my first degree. Not true. I am up and down like a mad yo-yo. I have been harmed, I have cried most days. I like the course, and when I've been in school I've been ok, and I adore the teaching and the children, but still, I am not good.

Bob and I aren't great either. Moving away from him, both of us to pastures new, has been a big knock. Hopefully we will be fine, but we have a lot of working on it to do. This is a massive shock, as I really thought I was made for life on that front.

A lot of the time I feel alone. And sad. And disgusted by myself. But I will get better.

Next time, I hope it won't be so long. I read everyone's diaries here and love you all.

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