7:28 p.m. - Tuesday, Jun. 01, 2004
The red shoe girl does politics.
It’s election time in Old Mordor town. And it’s very interesting.

It’s the first time I’m really lived on the coal face of the campaigning. I live in a city where multicultural issues, poverty, public spending battles and many of the other key election issues present themselves at every turn.

This means we get leaflets. And how! In my cosy, middle class, edge of rural working town home we might get an advert for each of the big players. Here, I have received flyers from parties I didn’t even know existed! And some from parties I wish didn’t.

Europe is a big issue here. Huge. Effectively, our little island state has to decide whether to keep singing ‘Rule Britannia’ at all costs over the rising song of globalism, or whether to chuck its few quid worth in with the continent. Ordinary people like our separation. It seem like people who actually know about it think it might spell our doom.

And it’s a tough issue. I hate the euro. It’s such a faceless currency! I dislike the disappearance of all the exciting different monies into this all-things-to-all-people melting pot. But, if it comes to our pound or our economical survival, it’s the pound that’s going.

So, our flyers. Labour, Tory, Lib Dem. The usual. The slightly loony fringe – the greens. Then it all goes a bit pear shaped. Parties who only have one policy – to keep us out of Europe – according to the UK independence party ‘most people agree with our message’. And this would explain why you are unlikely to get a single victory? Something called the RESPECT coalition, founded by a disgraced MP. A party which consists of just one vicar!

The British National Party. Ah, how we love the BNP! The Patriotic Majority Have Spoken! they declare. Um, sorry Mr Fascist, but don’t call me unpatriotic for believing that everyone has a right to come here. The BNP is going to ‘secure our borders’. Seeing as we’re an island, that’s not too hard, really. They are going to keep these foreigners out of OUR country. ‘We have a right to walk the streets without fear of intimidation or attack.’ And apparently, if we have a country full of white people, this will happen! Burglary will magically go down! ‘Our own people will have first priority for jobs and services’. They make me sick!

The best bit is the last page of the flyer. It shows a picture of our BNP candidate with his wife and kids (boys, maybe aged two and four.) This picture is emblazoned with the phrase ‘My dad is not a racist!’. Excuse me?! I’m not going on the word of an un-named and probably misquoted small child to elect my representative at the continent’s parliament.

The worst bit is that I’m in Italy when the elections take place. And I haven’t organised a postal vote. It’s actually MY FAULT if these parties get in. Mrs Pankhurst, forgive me. It was worth it, really.

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