4:48 p.m. - Thursday, May. 20, 2004
The truth
Hi girls. I am going to try to write. I haven't been writing recently, because life has been easier to live superficially, and I can't fob you off with that stuff. So I am trying to write properly, even if the feelings are a bit ugly and rough around the edges and not funny at all.

I'm just finding things hard. Chocolate and sleep are the only things coming naturally to me, those and avoiding work. I am terrified I am going to fail this degree and get no-where in life, but I can't find the energy or enthusiasm to work.

I can't look forward to life after exams like most do, because my boy is going away and I don't even want to think about it.

I saw some mice in the Nature Centre yesterday, and feel guilty about mine. What if they don't have enough space? They don't have big walls to climb, and the mice there loved beetling up and peeping out from the ledges. I love mine so much, but if they would be happier somewhere else I would part with them. They have been doing some swimming recently. Maisy hates it, so has now been given exception, but watching Martha is great. She doean't like it much, but I think it is good enrichment for her. Her fur is nice afterwards too. I have a picture I will try to post.

Big thankyou to Nicole augustdreams (and Aph and woodstock) for my e-card - I've pinched the graphic as it sums up how I feel as the moment...

Oops, not that picture!!

Must credit Leslie Vontver even if I haven't asked her permission

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